In last Monday’s post I touched on my having fewer friends than I used to. Mostly, it’s because a lot of people moved away during/because of Covid and the ones left had babies and are not as available anymore. That has left me feeling quite lonely sometimes, even though I do am an introvert. So, in this post I want to help any of you out there who wonder how to live happy alone without friends.
Now, as I said, I do identify as an introvert and being alone is not really a biggy -especially after I got my dog. There are times, though, that I struggle with the thoughts in my head and I need to keep myself occupied. Below, you’ll find suggestions and activities you can do in your journey to live happy without friends or, at least, without many friends. Any of you introverts out there will know we tend to have lots of acquaintances but few friends -usually we can count them in the fingers of one hand. 🙈
Why do I have no friends?
First-off, let’s start with a few pointers into why you might have ended up without friends. Some of them are due to personality issues and some due to outside factors, as you can imagine. The bottom line is, it’s very common to have no friends, or to end up with no or minimal friends. You should not feel like there’s something wrong with you. Life is beautiful and you can still lead a happy life alone without friends.
- Being an introvert
- Suffering from social anxiety or shyness
- Experiencing depression
- Having Asperger’s
- Being socially inexperienced
- Not having social interests
- Recently having moved, split up with a partner, or changed job
- Not having time to socialise
What to do when I have no friends and are bored?
This question hits home for a lot of us, especially the ones who are single and are looking for things to do when single and with no friends. Please never feel that because you live without friends you are somehow less valuable as a human being or that you need to spend your days stuck in your room pining for your bad luck.
1. Get a pet
The first step would definitely be to get a pet. Now, I know that a lot of factors influence whether this option is realistic. Maybe you have children or your landlord doesn’t allow pets or for whatever other reason a pet is not a feasible option for you. But, if you can get one, a pet is a company that will change your life. It sounds terribly cliché but when you live with a pet you are never alone. I mean, even if you want to be, your pet will never leave you alone. 😅 Also, a pet like a dog will get you out and about, it will make you exercise, it will be an ice-breaker and a way to socialise and meet new people.
Traveling solo is honestly one of the most liberating things ever. It helps you gain confidence and mature, and feel good in you self, even if you have no friends. Some of the best trips I’ve had were the ones I did by myself because I had no friends to come with me. 😊 Same goes for taking yourself on dates or short day trips, if traveling is not really an option.
The main idea is that you experience new places and cultures and meet new people, even if you have no one to go with you. If anything, traveling solo and having no friends gives you certain freedoms. You can choose when you can take time off, find a cheap room as opposed to a 4-5 bed accommodation and pass on the drama some “friends” bring to a trip. Of course, there are issues with traveling by yourself, but this is a topic for another post.
3. Find a hobby
Having a hobby is an excellent way to pass your time when you have no friends to go out for coffee. It is, also, a great opportunity to meet new friends -depending on the hobby of course. Find what makes you happy and give it a go. It can be something simple like opening a Tumblr account and posting your favourite photos. Or it can be something more complicated, like undertaking French lessons. 🥐
4. Take care of your mental health
The most important step to living a happy life alone without friends is to ignore what other people say. Avoid wasting time on whether people can tell you have no friends. Don’t ponder on the “why’s” and “how’s” you ended up without friends. At the end of the day, life is short. Too short to spend it wondering what if and what life would be like if you were surrounded by a group of friends.
There’s absolutely no reason for you to not find happiness because at this moment in time you have no friends. Also, don’t forget, everyone is different. Some people thrive around friends and others find their happiness by living alone without friends out of choice. What works for you will not necessarily work for someone else. 💪🏽
I hope you found my tips helpful. If you find yourself without friends, please don’t feel lonely! First of all, I’m your friend and thank you for reading my blog. 👍🏽 Secondly, I am a firm believer that everything happens for a reason. If certain people are not in your life anymore, perhaps it’s for the best. Perhaps there is a master plan which you can’t see at the moment, and God has great things in store for you! 💫
Tell me what you think in the comments! Do you have a lot of friends? Or are you a bit of a loner? I’d love to hear your thoughts!
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This was such a good post. I have body dysmorphia and anexity which means I’m not always comfortable in social situation, but even without that I enjoy being by myself in order to write, read, explore and just feel more relaxed. I have a small group of lovely friends who I can have fun with when I’m not retreating inwards when the dark moods occur, but they are scattered across the UK and beyond, though the distance doesn’t mean that they aren’t great. I think certain people just have a natural inclination to be quieter and more independent. It’s not a bad thing at all if that makes you happy. Society doesn’t always respect that choice as it assumes that we couldn’t possibly be fulfilled on our own, but this isn’t true. My interior world is rich and bright and a comfort to return to when real life and people let me down. There is a world of difference between being alone and being lonely.
Thank you for your lovely comment, you are absolutely right! ♥️
Thank you for sharing this, Maria. I can relate to having my circle of friends getting smaller, but it’s been for the better. I’ve learned to keep better company and have been focusing on my hobbies and wellbeing. I would love to travel again soon and have been looking into hopefully getting a pet!
I’m an introvert with a small group of friends who mean a lot to me, but I love spending time alone and I’ve been on a couple of wonderful holidays alone.
A big part of this is because I have ADHD and although I’m an introvert, I’m very chatty and energised around people who I feel comfortable with. The flipside of this is that I feel like I have to mask my chattiness and bouncy nature when I’m around most people (people’s reactions show they think it’s “a bit much”). Masking makes me tried and anxious, so I’d rather be alone or with the few people I can just relax and be myself with. Thanks for a lovely post and some great ideas on ways to feel happy in your own company!
Thank you for your comment, I’m glad you liked the post! I relate with quite a lot of what you wrote. x
I have been left with very few friends after covid entered our lives also. But honestly that doesn’t make me feel lonely. It feels like I kept only those I really needed. I am introvert so I do enjoy solitude and time for myself. Definitely agree with your point that those who are no longer with us they are not for a reason. Thank you for sharing 🙂
Thank you for your comment! 💜
I’ve been feeling really lonely lately, so this has been great to read. Unfortunetely I can’t get a pet, since I’m at uni. I have 2 cats at home, and there’s a cat cafe about 15 minute bus ride away tho xx
I’m sorry to hear that. A cat cafe sound wonderful! I hope this post helped! x
Great post! I don’t have time for friends! I have 4 pets, two kids, and a husband. Sometimes it’s drama.
Oh goodness, that sounds a handful! But I’m sure when you all gather together and the kids/pets settle, they’re all the friends you need! ☺️
Thanks for this post. I can relate.
As you get older, I think you outgrow people. I had children a bit later in life and some of my friends who had long since experienced that stage, I think couldn’t relate to me anymore.
I’m happy now with a very small group of people around me.
I love the sound of solo travelling and would like to do it. Even if its one night in a relaxing location. Might start looking 🙂
I’m glad you enjoyed it! It’s definitely worth it even for a night or two (such as weekend getaway). I find it gives you a great sense of freedom and calm 💆🏻♀️
as i’ve gotten older, friends have come and gone. i think some friends are only with us for certain phases of life. things change and so do we and with that, friends change as well. i spend most of my time with my fiance, his family and my family. and i’m completely content with this. i do tell him we should get a dog soon though. haha. and i’m thinking for my birthday next year, to travel instead of trying to have some form of a party.
100% agree with everything you said! I too believe now that some friends are only in our lives for a certain amount of time and for a certain reason and that’s okay.
B-day travel trumps b-day party every day of the week for me 🙌🏽☺️✈️
You should deffo get a dog! But then you and your fiancé will have to accept you will love the dog more than each other 😂🥰